Archive for the 'you're welcome' Category

Oversleeping and Overalls

I know I’ve been a lazy blogger but the last two weeks have literally been a blur. After digging my car out of the remnants of Snowpocalypse 2010, I drove down a day early to Raleigh to make sure I didn’t miss my Bill Maher shows. On the Sunday morning after the special aired I drove from Raleigh to Altoona, PA for a Valentine’s Day show. Then on the 15th I woke up at the buttcrack of dawn and drove from Altoona to Baltimore so I could catch a flight to San Antonio. I was there for one night and the next morning had to fly to Atlanta.

Which brings me to the reason for this post. I overslept and missed my first flight into ATL and had to take a later flight. Then when I finally got into the ATL airport, the airtrain that takes you to the rental car facility was broken and I and about a hundred plus other people had to wait nearly 50 minutes to get to the facility.

crowd

All I wanted to do was get to a bed and I didn’t know if I was gonna even be able to stand on my feet any longer. But then I saw this:

over-it-all

The most awesome pair of Maurice Malone overalls ever stitched.

And my day was immediately brightened. These jeans gave me energy. Where did he find them? Or better yet, what made him keep them so long? And how does he access the goodies he puts in the pouch? Getting undressed to get to your cell phone seems a little inconvenient… I wondered (almost aloud — I was kinda delirious ;) whether the pouch on the back was considered an additional carry-on. ‘Cause somehow it doesn’t seem fair that he should be allowed that AND a laptop bag. I thought I would share so these jeans could brighten your day too.

You’re welcome.

Happy Birthday Bob

This is truly the intersection of genius.

Stevie Wonder singing Bob Marley’s ‘Redemption Song.’ I figured that having my favorite artist salute my other favorite artist (they’re tied for my affections) by covering one of his most important songs was a fitting way to honor his memory. Had he lived to see today, Bob Marley would have been 65 years old.

I remember how excited I was when I first bought this CD: Song Review: Greatest Hits and heard this remake. It’s at the very end of the second CD and it’s just perfect — the perfect way to do a remake. Because I believe that if you’re going to bother, you should take the song and make it your own somehow. What’s the point in singing someone’s song exactly how they did it? This is so rich and one of best remakes of a classic of ALL TIME — though I’m admittedly biased. :)

I hope you enjoyed it. Happy Birthday, Bob!

Another Snuggie convert

This one goes out to all of y’all who hate on my beloved Snuggie. Feel free to check out some of my other Snuggie posts

snug_blue snug_eagles

Anyway, I received the following e-mail on Facebook last nite. No further explanation needed. Read it and acknowledge the awesomeness of the Snuggie.

Please and thank you.

Click image to enlarge

I also would like to report that since my CVS blog I have brought a few people over from the drug store dark side to the light. I guess you could call me… a missionary of sorts.

You could also call me a few other things… but please, just not to my face. ;)

I blog and tell jokes. I’m a… ‘blomic’

bloggerbeat

OK, Booooooo. That was awful.

But YAY!!! You’re Welcome and yours truly were featured this week in Washingtonian Magazine’s Blogger Beat. Here’s the link to the article. Pass it on! And leave a comment if you’re so moved ;)

Sugar, water, and of course… purple

My friend Karriem posted the photo below on his Facebook page with the caption, “Sugar, water and of course, purple.”

purple

It made me laugh out loud for a couple reasons. First, there’s the obvious Sunny D vs. purple stuff reference from the commercials.

But secondly the caption is from one of my favorite bits from Dave Chappelle’s last stand-up special. Even if you’ve seen it before it’s still hilarious I promise:

Oh man… that was some funny stuff. I can remember watching this special on my friend Nikia’s sofa when it first came out because I don’t have Showtime. I have it on CD but haven’t listened to it in years. This makes me wanna dig it out of the crates :)

Good times. THANKS Karriem!

Put on some damn pantyhose!

I didn’t think women were still “doing” knee highs and skirts.

This woman at Reagan National Airport proved me wrong.

Why, God? WHHHHHHHHY?

Are you for real, lady?

Even if you hate pantyhose as I do, you just have to accept the fact that as a woman living in this society, you’re gonna have to wear things sometimes that aren’t comfortable. There is no excuse for this. I’m ashamed for her.

She was, however, sitting in first class.

Figures.

Why my mom is awesome and also it’s my birthday

People often ask me where I get my sense of humor — if my parents are funny, what kind of household I grew up in… Below is the card and present my mom sent me for my birthday. And I’m gonna let you be the judge:

Notice her 'revisions'

Notice her 'revisions'

She did not bother to buy a “from us” card. Not Linda Carol. She made one. And that is awesome! I’m gonna excuse the fact that her ‘editing’ resulted in some bad grammar (where we am) because it is hilarious ;)

I already told y'all my middle name is Rashida, so no need to comment on that.

I already told y'all my middle name is Rashida, so no need to comment on that.

This part isn’t actually that funny. It’s kind of become a little tradition of ours. She sent me a check for 31 dollars because I am turning 31. Last year she sent me 30 roses… you get the picture. My mom’s hilarious. Even when she doesn’t mean to be.

Love you Mommy. Thanks for making me! Oh yeah, and Daddy too ;)

You are my son dun, my only dun son…

p3191345

When I walked by this truck this afternoon, I began laughing so hard I couldn’t stop. And all my hip hop fans out there know why. I’m from New Jersey and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told people that and their response has been some variation of the phrase “Oh yeah, dun son” or “You from Jersey, son dun.” Madness. In case you are unfamiliar with this phrase/greeting, I’ve included a definition from one of our generation’s most unimpeachable resources, the Urban Dictionary:

1. dun son

Originally rooted from the word “dun”, meaning “son”, dun son is an extension of it’s root. Usually in reference to entering or exiting, never used during conversation. A Greeting.

“Yo whas da deal dun son?” or “Yo I’ma holla at you lata dun son”

HA! A little off subject but also hilarious to me, I heard Rick Ross on the Rickey Smiley Morning Show maybe last month or earlier this month and he called 50 Cent his “son.” They are/were beefing over something utterly ridiculous I’m sure, who can keep up?… Listen to the whole clip for completely ignorant hilarity or FF to the 1:30 mark to get right to it.

Alright, so I don’t have the time to go into a complete explanation of the manifold meanings of dun, son, dun son, etc., but if you feel as if you need more background information on any of these ”words” or  just a general overview of Hip-Hop-bonics in general, please feel free to visit any of these free resources:

The Dunn Language Wikipedia Page (explains the origin of “Dun Language”)
Urban Dictionary
This classic track from the late, great Big L (FF to the 2:05 mark for “son” reference ;):

You’re welcome.

I may be an ass… but you have awful taste

dressing_07

So I was at Macy’s shopping with one of my girlfriends about a week ago and she was pushing me to try on a hideous dress I knew I was gonna hate. I told her I didn’t want to waste my time, but she kept saying, “Oh E, it’s gonna look better on. I’m telling you that hanger just isn’t doing anything for it…”

Needless to say she punked me into it. I had her wait out by the three-way mirror and I was just talking ish the whole time I was trying to get it zipped and buttoned up:“Ugh, this dress is so ugly… Why the hell did you make me try this on?… You would never wear any shit like this… Who would BUY this piece of crap?”

You name it, I probably said it. She wanted me to come out and show her and I kept on… “Alright, but there better not be anyone else out there. I don’t even want to be seen in a dressing room wearing this thing.” She assured me there was no one else out there, but as I was opening the door to my dressing room, the door directly across from me opens at the same time, and the woman is standing there right in front of me wearing the dress I’ve been bashing out loud for the past 5 minutes…

Yeah.

AWWWK-WARD…

This stuff doesn’t happen to other people, does it? No, really… I couldn’t even look up. But I could tell she was staring dead at me. It was the most ashamed I’ve been of myself in years…

I don’t know if that lady bought the dress — I didn’t stick around to find out — but me and my big mouth have totally learned our lesson. I know this is gonna sound hella self-centered but sometimes it totally slips my mind that there are other people in the world… Well, I plan on taking this to the stage. So hopefully it will have been a worthwhile experience on more than one front.

Ugly Michael Kors dress lady, if you’re reading… I’m sorry for being an ass. But if we’re honest with ourselves I think all three of us will admit that dress was herblistenous… So, in a weird roundabout way, I kinda did you a favor… Yeah.

You’re welcome.

Valentine’s Day — In case you missed it…

A great big, huge-tastic thanks to all of you guys who bought tickets (and those who wanted to but couldn’t) to my Valentine’s Day shows at the DC Improv over the weekend. We had a blast and I think the shows were great from top to bottom. It’s been a while since I posted new material so here’s some of the stuff that’s been on my mind as of late. A lot of it just came to me that night… so don’t you dare judge me! Tee hee ;)

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