you're a grown ass man
Erin and Kraz-E sittin’ in a tree…
Nov 23rd
I’d rather attach myself to one.
I got the following e-mail in my inbox last nite:
Oooooooh, KRAZ E — sounds appealing! And for free, no less? Glad I opened it because this is my last day…
Get out of my life eHarmony.
So yeah… I told you all about my ‘experiment’ with eHarmony a few weeks ago… If you haven’t read that entry I highly recommend you do so. It’s sort of a companion piece to this one. They keep sending me matches even tho my 3 month subscription has been over. I never open the e-mails — if I had I would have seen how easy it is to stop the e-mails — but this one I had to open. Here’s what was on the inside:
Exhale…
So this website believes that I am highly compatible with a person who uses “Kraz E” as a moniker on a matching site? WORD? At first I thought maybe it was accurate because anyone who would do such a thing must also be a comedian… But then I started to get a little pissed — do they just start sending effed up matches to people who quit them? Are these just sour grape hate darts — the Internet dating site equivalent of a schoolyard dozens battle (“Yeah, well that’s why yo’ mama…”)
Fa real, eHeezy, you’d like to intoduce me to Kraz E? Well, I have no desire to learn more about this person. And certainly not NOW with an exclamation point (!) Booooo Friggin Booooo!
Kick rocks eternally.
Ummmm… did they really print that?
Jul 9th
This is why I love independent, alternative newspapers. No one else (not The Washington Post and CERTAINLY not The Washington Times) would run that headline/cover story. There really is no need to read any further. That headline is the thesis, body, and closing of the article all wrapped into one… And isn’t that what quality journalism is all about?
I can’t lie: I was quite shocked and thought it was a joke when my girl brought it to my attention, but I kinda love that they did this. I just might love the transcripts and recordings of ex-mayor Barry’s voicemail messages a little bit more. Geez Louise… who knew Marion Barry was that crazy? Well, besides everyone…
God bless the City Paper.
Marie Claire Magazine feels my pain
Jun 25th
In keeping with my recent focus on my terrible dating history (I’m in the process of writing a new chunk of material on it) my friend Dana messaged me on Twitter about an online contest Marie Claire Magazine was holding. They’re looking for readers to submit their worst date stories, and then they’re going to select the best [worst] ones and feature them on their website.
She thought it was perfect for me. And I think maybe she was right. I’ve written about my worst date ever on this blog already, back in 2007. If you haven’t read my “The Worst Date Ever. Ever.” posts or if you need a refresher, you can read Pt. I here. And if you haven’t had enough, here is the conclusion. I submitted it to their site yesterday afternoon, and last nite they posted this on their Twitter page:
YAY! They liked it!!! Glad they could see the humor in my pain. Hopefully, I’ll be one of the top entries and my story will be published on their site… Although that would mean I had one of the worst dates ever in the COUNTRY. Is that an honor?
Maybe not, but it’s par for my life. Exhale…
“I want the gold” a.k.a. Happy St. Patty’s Day
Mar 17th
It’s been around for years so most of you have probably seen this already (nearly 10 million YouTube hits). But if you haven’t I hope you… enjoyed it???… Not sure if ‘enjoy’ is the proper word, but I digress… A friend of mine who’s FROM Alabama sent this to me last year and then proceeded to call me damn near everyday to ask me if I saw the leprechaun. HA! I then proceeded to send it to all my friends. And then one day out of the blue my friend Dana who is an artist (I mean, you’d have to be to create such a masterpiece, wouldn’t ya? ;) sent me an e-mail with this attachment:
I remember I almost choked to death on nothing.
Exhale… I’m pretty sure that as a proud Black woman, this should embarass me, but the comedian in me made me post it ;) That, and the fact that it’s St. Patty’s Day AND I recently bought the t-shirt below from Lookatmeshirts.com, which is a t-shirt site run by comic Josh Sneed and his designer friend. This site is also where I got the Randy Watson tee.
Quarterly boob shot -- Enjoy, next one won't be 'til June ;)
What can I say? I’m a sucker for a funny t-shirt ;) Happy St. Patty’s Day!!!
What’s your excuse, Kanye?
Mar 6th
I’m just sayin’…
Levar Burton came up in the 80’s and 90’s and his hairstyle was appropriate for the character he played. What exactly is your excuse, Kanye? Really… this afro-mullet/I’m-different-please-someone-pay-attention-to-me thing has got to go… I recognize this comparison may have been funnier if I could have found a photo of Kanye with the ‘frullet’ and those ghastly white plastic mini-blind shades. That would have been perfection.
I guess.
Happy Friday y’all.
Dude looks like a lady… kinda
Oct 29th
Each year on the Tuesday before Halloween, thousands of Washingtonians come out to Dupont Circle for the annual High Heel Race. Dupont is the center of DC’s gay community and the high heel drag race is an event where a bunch of men dressed in drag and other crazy costumes come out and put on a mini-parade which culminates in a race down 17th Street. I’ve been attending religiously for the past 4 or 5 years and I heart it.
I had a pretty bad day today. Got some awful news that completely bummed me out. I almost didn’t go but as I was sitting at home on my sofa I thought to myself, “What better way is there to pull yourself out of a funk than to go to something so ridiculous?” So I got up and went and I’m super glad I did.
This is me and my bud, Kojo. I brought him to the race for the first time last year. It took some convincing, but after last year’s event I think he was hooked. Now he’s my drag race road dawg ;) More >
K-Ci and Oh No!
Aug 26th
So this showed up in my Google reader as one of the most-viewed videos of the day. And I truly believe I’m solely responsible for this. Because I have watched this clip 312,457 times… and counting ;) Man, do y’all remember how dope Jodeci was? … I need to pull out Forever My Lady or Diary of a Mad Band STAT. Thems sure was the days…
Sidebar — WHO in the hell told K-Ci that it was OK to bare his cracky chest? Over the past few years, I don’t think I’ve seen one clip of him with a shirt on… (SMH). The funniest part is that K-Ci keeps singing. Michael K over at DListed says, “If K-Ci stops singing, they won’t get paid for the gig and who will pay for their crack rocks?!” Tee hee ;) … too funny. Why did dude just pick up the mic and keep stepping?… Like that ish happens every nite. Oh man…
I think Whitney said it best. Crack is whack… Do YOU know?
Oh my damn…
Aug 7th
Fla. man dials 911, complains his sub had no sauce
2 days ago
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) — The sauce for a spicy Italian sandwich was apparently a must have for one Florida man. The man, Reginald Peterson, called 911 twice after a sandwich shop left off the sauce.
Peterson initially called the emergency number Thursday so that officers could have his subs made correctly, according to a police report. The second call was to complain that police officers weren’t arriving fast enough.
Subway workers told police that Peterson, 42, became belligerent and yelled when they were fixing his order. They locked him out of the store when he left to call police.
When officers arrived, they tried to calm Peterson and explain the proper use of 911. Those efforts failed, and he was arrested on a charge of making false 911 calls.
Peterson did not have a listed phone number.
Haha… I saw this at Crunk & Disorderly and it reminded me of this gem.
You’re welcome.
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