Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Oh my damn…

And I quote:

Fla. man dials 911, complains his sub had no sauce

2 days ago

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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) — The sauce for a spicy Italian sandwich was apparently a must have for one Florida man. The man, Reginald Peterson, called 911 twice after a sandwich shop left off the sauce.

Peterson initially called the emergency number Thursday so that officers could have his subs made correctly, according to a police report. The second call was to complain that police officers weren’t arriving fast enough.

Subway workers told police that Peterson, 42, became belligerent and yelled when they were fixing his order. They locked him out of the store when he left to call police.

When officers arrived, they tried to calm Peterson and explain the proper use of 911. Those efforts failed, and he was arrested on a charge of making false 911 calls.

Peterson did not have a listed phone number.

Source

Haha… I saw this at Crunk & Disorderly and it reminded me of this gem.

You’re welcome.

Damn, I don’t know this song either

So I wasn’t working this past weekend and got a chance to be ‘normal’ ;) and hang with some of my friends. Hooray! On Friday nite, me and my friend Kellz went out to a club. I put on a dress and heels and we got to the club before it was real packed and set up shop on the first floor by the bar.

Perfect.

The music was great. They were playing a lot of old school hip hop and R&B, some Chaka… a little Tribe. We were having a great time. We even spotted an S-Curl and I made Kellz pretend I was taking a picture of her so old boy wouldn’t know we were clowning him…

Big fun.

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After about an hour, we went upstairs to the second level. And as we were standing on the outskirts of the dance floor watching folks get their dance on, I slowly began to realize that I didn’t know any of the music the DJ was playing. You know that “Awwwwww, s—! That’s my joint / Woooooo!” sound that happens right after the DJ plays the first few notes of a club banger??? Well I heard it repeatedly… I saw the hands go up in the air. But I didn’t recognize any of the songs.

How the hell did this happen?

I consciously stopped listening to urban contemporary radio stations several years ago — not because I don’t like hip hop — but because I *do.* And what passes for hip hop and R&B on the radio these days sickens me. I prefer to read reviews and forums, find artists that I like and buy/download their music myself. But even so, the ignorance that floods the airwaves has always found a way to somehow seep into my consciousness. Thru commercials or MTV or something… Last Friday however, I literally knew none of the songs that were played in like a 20-minute period.

What are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Should you just throw your hands up in the air when everyone else does and pretend like you like the raggedy-ass ‘music’ that’s playing (as one friend suggested)? Or do you just acknowledge the fact that you’re over it and look for a comfy seat?

I opted for option #2.

Overall I enjoyed myself that nite but I spent the last half hour we were there texting a friend of mine who was being equally lame at another club…

My how times change… Continue reading ‘Damn, I don’t know this song either’

OH YES, it’s ladies nite…

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Hey guys, how cool is this?… I was invited to be one of the ‘celebrity guests’ at the Washington Natioals’ next Ladies Night Event! It’s gonna be on August 14 on the roof of the New Nats stadium — which is like 2 miles from my house! I haven’t been there yet, but I hear its gorgeous. We’ll get great seats in the swanky Scoreboard Pavilion and they’re playing the Mets. What self-respecting Jersey girl wouldn’t be excited about that?

The first 1,000 ladies to buy tickets will be able to attend the pregame happy-hour where there will be food, drinks, a DJ, ME!!!!, all kinds of demos and giveaways — at previous events there have been manis and pedis, makeup demos, etc. So if you’re in D.C. and you’re a lady — or want to attend an event where there will hundreds of ladies ;) please come on out. Should be loads of fun. Hooray!!!

Comedy and the DMV

So after spending a crapload of money on brakes and a new windshield yesterday, I went to the DMV to get my car inspected this morning. It took forever — I saw 5 or 6 cars go thru the whole process while my baby just sat there. When they finally pulled her out of the garage I went over to the inspector guy to find out the results…

Me: Did it pass?

Inspector guy: No

Me: What do I need?

Inspector guy: A new car

HA! That is so funny. It actually did pass, but for about 3 seconds I was tuning up for the biggest cry I’ve had in months. Everyone’s a comic.

Oh and don’t forget to watch me on Live at Gotham tomorrow nite at 10pm Eastern on Comedy Central. They just put up another clip on the CC website… shecketout below!

Great Americans, Pt. I

This week I was out in Norfolk, NE for The Great American Comedy Festival. The festival ran Tuesday thru Sunday and there was a comedy competition featuring 24 comics from all over the country, a youth comedy camp, and closing nite gala show where Dick Cavett received The Legend Award. There was also some big prize money up for grabs!

Norfolk was the childhood home of Johnny Carson and he was apparently very kind to the town and all its people throughout his life. The majority of the shows took place in the beautiful, state-of-the-art Johnny Carson Theatre. The theatre seats 1,234 and I don’t think there was one show the whole week where there weren’t at least 700 - 800 people in attendance. Turnout was great.

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The whole festival was put together by a crew of volunteers in Nebraska in coordination with Eddie Brill, the booker for Letterman — who hand picked all the comics participating in the contest portion of the festival. I’m going to attempt to list the names of all the comics that were there: Tapan Trevedi, Chuck Bartell, Dan Boulger, Matt Braunger, Chris Coccia, Joe Derosa, Deacon Gray, ME, Jesse Joyce, Myq Kaplan, Joe Klocek, Darryl Lenox, Jamie Lissow, Robert Mac, Vince Maranto, Shane Mauss, Jim McDonald, David Powell, Micah Sherman, Marianne Sierk, James Smith, Paul Varghese, Drake Witham, and Roy Wood, Jr. Also performing/hosting were Jeff Caldwell, Nick Griffin and Eddie Brill.

Think I got everyone…

All 24 of the comics flew into Omaha on Tuesday. And once all the flights were in, we hopped a bus to Norfolk, The first nite most of us just settled in and watched the Celtics kick Laker butt. On Wednesday morning, we had a field trip to the Johnny Carson Museum. On Thursday there was a trip to this place where you could see fossils and stuff — I didn’t go on that trip but I heard it was cool. And on Friday we had a trip to a ranch where we ate well, bottle fed calves and took a hayride through fields where marijuana grew in stalks… Word.

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Because the purpose of the festival was to honor the legacy of Johnny Carson all material had to be TV clean and “family-friendly.“ Really cuts down on the material that you have to choose from. It was definitely a challenge. There were four semifinal rounds with six comics each. Two from each semi advanced to the finals. And the top three finishers earned cash prizes. My semifinal was on Thursday. I had a pretty good 8-minute set and advanced to the finals.

The finals on Friday were judged by Robert Klein, Dick Cavett, and Wende Curtis (owner of Denver’s Comedy Works) and hosted by Eddie Brill. It was pretty nerve racking being brought out by the guy who books Letterman only to see Robert Klein and Dick Cavett in the front row with judging sheets in front of them. But I had another good set and felt pretty good about it when I got off stage. When the winners were announced later that evening, I ended up taking second place — HOORAY!!!

Continue reading ‘Great Americans, Pt. I’

Friends… Finally. ;)

So back in April I wrote this blog about how I wasn’t able to add Rahsaan Patterson — one of my favorite singers in the world — as a friend on Myspace. His profile said he didn’t accept comedians, blah blah, blah… It was an admittedly lame blog. But it was also an EFFECTIVE blog… Because on Wednesday, I got an e-mail from one Rahsaan Patterson saying that he read my blog, changed his privacy settings and could accept me now as a friend. Yeee-haw!!!

Thanks to one of my girlfriends who apparently brought this issue to his attention, I received the following e-mail from him… You don’t get the whole thing — just the highlights ;) :

so, a friend of yours sent me a message today.
she mentioned you were not accepted as a friend on my page.
a few weeks ago someone else sent a message saying, a friend of theirs, who is also a comedian wasn’t accepted also.
i went to my settings, saw they were somehow not fixed to accept requests from comedians, and i changed it.

sorry for the mishap and THANKS so much for buying my music….well at least 3 of them. ;)

if you tell me which one you don’t have i’ll have it mailed to you. :)

peace.

rahsaan

Cool huh?

The internet is magic ;) What a nice guy… Thanks Rahsaan!

Buy his albums!!!

Contribute to what, exactly?

So my mom got an e-mail from ‘Hillary Clinton’ this morning. Yesterday she took Hillz up on her invitation to go to her website and tell her how she felt about her campaign and her candidacy… Below is the reply she received. Whatever. The most confusing part of the whole letter for me is the ‘contribute’ button at the bottom.

Word?

What exactly are people supposed to be contributing to? It’s over.

Fall back, ma.

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Double Blognificence — “What What” South Park Style

OK… my love for Samwell has been documented. He really is hilarious and such a sweet guy. We are friends now. Don’t be jealous y’all. Hopefully we can collaborate on something soon. I would love that… Get at me Sam!

But yesterday someone sent me something I hadn’t seen before — the South Park “What What in the Butt” parody… And I haven’t been able to stop laughing. So this is my gift to you on this holiday weekend. Don’t say I never gave you a Memorial Day gift.

Please disregard the opening credits. Kinda crass, but I can’t do anything about that… Note: the irony of me apologizing for the opening credits will be readily apparent after watching the video.

And for those of you not familiar with Samwell, I have to hip you to the original video…

And Part II (this is the funnier part) of his ‘revealing’ in -depth interview… My boy’s lip gloss is poppin’

I want to want to skip

I was on the bus this morning and I was sitting behind this little girl and her mom. She had on a cute little plaid school uniform, a ponytail with ribbons in her hair (the little girl, not the mother ;). She was adorable. When they first got on, she asked if she could sit on the inside seat so she could pull the ‘stop’ cord. And she was so excited when she got to pull it… Then when her stop came – an elementary school about a half mile from my house – she got off the bus, waved back to her mom and skipped down the sidewalk to the front door.

I used to skip.

But I don’t think anyone/thing/place excites me like that anymore.

And though I know it’d be wildly unsexy and probably just plain inappropriate for me to skip anywhere now, I kinda want to skip.

Or maybe I just want to want to skip.

I’ve heard older folks say stuff like “Enjoy your youth” or “I wish I could be a kid again.” But I’ve never really identified. Maybe it’s because I’ve never thought I was old. But this morning I found myself actually envying an 8 year-old. With all the crap going on in the world, this little girl has a place that makes her so happy she has to skip to get there – what filled my heart even more was that she was skipping to get to SCHOOL.

A little black girl in Southeast D.C. so excited about school she almost ran to get there. Why isn’t that the lead story on the news?

I feel like there’s so much more I could say about how I feel right now, but I think I wanna keep it for myself ;)

Live at Gotham Sneak Peek

Hey y’all, they’ve posted some clips of the new season of Gotham over at Comedycentral.com. Kinda flubbed a setup but I guess it’s not so bad. And hey, they may not even air this bit on the show. Check it out… HOORAY!


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