I am going with my friend Jo-Ann to an old skool party tonite — which I’m pretty sure means the DJ will be spinning 80’s & 90’s classic hip hop and R&B joints and people will be wearing horrible outfits they should have thrown away years ago… Sounds like big fun, but I’d settle for a guy offering to buy me a drink…
That would be really old skool.
Oh, the single life…
In fact, I hate it. I hate Twitter.
There. I said it. I’ve been reluctant to admit it because for some reason it makes me feel less hip. But I hate it. I tried to like it — tweeted maybe once a week to feel like I was still in the game but I just don’t get it.
Think I’m just gonna roll with Facebook and keep blogging.
Thoughts?
Right Through You - Alanis Morissette
My absolute favorite song from “Jagged Little Pill” and it captures exactly how I’m feeling right now about Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie. The remarks he made during his follow-up press conference on Friday re: hiring Michael Vick made me sick. And it amazes me that reporters and commentators and bloggers alike are lauding him for being “charitable” enough to sign Vick despite his personal convictions, when his statement was so clearly bullshit. I mean seriously, I didn’t see a selfless man willing to give a guy a second chance because he was big-hearted. I saw a businessman bashing his most recent (and potentially most profitable) investment in years in order to justify an unpopular decision that was based strictly on the bottom line. You can ‘t convince me of anything else. The NFL is a billion dollar business and Michael Vick has the potential to help lead the Eagles to a championship. Jeff Lurie knows it. And signing him because of that is a perfectly reasonable — hell, a very, very smart — business move. But in trying to pretend it was about anything else, he comes off as either a liar or a bad businessman. And neither is a good look for him.
Below are a few excerpts from an article/commentary I just submitted for a magazine. Not sure it’ll get published so I wanted to post some of it here. OK, here goes — and I promise I’ll chill on the Eagles posts until at least next weekend. This events of this weekend have just been so unexpected!
“I needed to see a lot of self hatred in order to approve this.”
That’s just one of the classless and seemingly disingenuous remarks Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeff Lurie used to explain his decision to sign Michael Vick in his 8/14 press conference. He then went on to explain how much he loved animals, and how he’d lost several dogs in the past few years. He described Vick’s actions as ‘murderous’ and ‘inexcusable’ and lamented for nearly 15 minutes about how difficult it was for him to decide to sign Vick… Continue reading ‘I see right through you…’
Coach Reid in the 8/14 presser re: how Michael Vick will contribute to the team:
Gotta love that. Coach Reid, succinct as ever.
I’ve been to maybe a handful of psychics in my life. And it’s always been a sham. Someone with a folding table telling you what — through conversation — they’ve gleaned you came to hear… But I had a reading at Eastern Market a few weeks ago that was totally different than any of the others.
When she said something that didn’t mean anything to me or was incorrect, she didn’t try to slicktalk me to convince me she was right. She just said, “Hmmm, that’s interesting.” And she totally didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. Actually I was kinda sad when I left her, but somehow that made me feel like she was a little more genuine. She wasn’t trying to make me happy, she was just telling me what she saw. And she was very confident — even giving me a pad of paper to write down the things she predicted would happen and on what dates so that I could refer to it when the dates arrived. Despite the fact that she offered almost no hopeful news for my personal life, I can’t lie. I like a cocky psychic…
That’s gangsta.
So if you’re in the DC area and you’re not morally or philosophically opposed to psychics, visit her. She may not have good news but she’ll tell you [what she believes to be] the truth. No punches pulled. Which is more than you can probably say for a lot of people in your life.
I was quoted in this article in the Style section of Saturday’s Washington Post about the David Letterman/Sarah Palin ‘feud’. If you don’t feel like reading the entire article, here’s what was attributed to me:
Letterman shouldn’t apologize, if only to preserve the comedian’s prerogative to satirize the powerful and to be offensive on occasion, says Erin Jackson, a rising local stand-up comic. “People read things into jokes that you never meant and never intended,” she says. “If [Letterman] got into a cycle of apologizing for a joke or comment, you don’t know where it would stop, or how far back you’d have to go to satisfy everyone. I don’t think he can be who he is if he started doing that.”
Adds Jackson: “When you give it to everyone equally, as Letterman does, as all the late-night people do, you kind of have to take it. It’s like demanding an apology from the National Enquirer — it’s better to just get over it.”
The writer made it clear to me that he didn’t want to examine the political angle of the story — he just wanted the opinion of a comedian on whether or not it was a good idea professionally for Letterman to offer an apology. I’ve offered quotes for articles before, but this weekend was the first time I’ve ever gotten negative e-mails about my comments. Sure I’ve gotten random, anonymous comments on YouTube, etc. But this was full-blown “I’m gonna give you a piece of my mind AND my first and last name and e-mail address.” You know, grown and sexy hate mail. The first message came at like 1 in the morning. I was out with friends and heard the Berry go off. I was crossing my fingers hard for an unexpected booty call …
Continue reading ‘David Letterman’s ‘apology’ and my first real hate mail’
I knew it was going to be bad when the key to the room was a key…
with the room number engraved right on it.
Convenient if you happen to forget which room you’re in, but not so convenient, as the hilarious Matt Kirshen pointed out, should you forget your key at the bar…
I was at an event where the host hotel billed itself as a “resort.” I beg to differ. $178 a nite for a hotel right out of 1960 and a room with no window, no thermostat, and no bath linens.
Where should I start?… How about the 4:15 check in time. Yes, you read right. I got there a little after 1 p.m. and figured at most I’d have to wait until 2 to check in. Nope 4 p.m. There were tons of other people waiting in the lobby too. I went back to my car and waited.
Then when I finally did get into the [tiny ass] room, it was FREEZING. I immediately started looking for the thermostat, but when I couldn’t find it after a few minutes I called down to the front desk for some help.”Are you in the big room or the small room?” the lady asked me. To which I replied, “I can’t imagine this is the big room, so I’m pretty sure I’m in the small one. It’s freezing in here.” She then went on to explain that the thermostat was controlled by the guests in the larger room attached to mine.
“Well, yes ma’am. But there should be an extra blanket in the armoire.” Continue reading ‘What do you mean you don’t have any more washcloths a.k.a. The worst hotel ever’
Etta trying to drum up buzz for her Beyonce/Barack diss album
***Etta James talking greasy (Listen)***
In case you haven’t heard this yet, Etta James was talking mad smack about President Obama and Beyonce. What is this old chick thinking? Barack isn’t her president? Kicking Beyonce’s ass? Etta you’re 71. “The bucket” is the only damn thing you’re gonna be kicking… Guess she’s just salty because she didn’t get to sing at the inaugural balls.
I love how classy Beyonce is in not making a statement. I have a girl-crush on her. Talk about ungrateful… If Beyonce hadn’t just played her in Cadillac Records, Etta James would just be another utterly irrelevant “sayer of nay” right now (shout to Michael S. ;)
In the words of the great philosopher Jill Scott, “Hate on hater.”
But now I think she’s the greatest comedian of our time. Not the most original comeback. But effective nonetheless. Only thing that could have made it better would have been a fade to black followed by JEJ’s “This is CNN” drop.
So I’m listening to reruns of the Steve Harvey Morning Show’s Strawberry Letter 23 — which if you’re not familiar is their relationship/advice segment. Well, a guy wrote in and said that he just found out a girl he is falling for has extremely bad breath… He described it as:
a poo-poo, hot garbage, vinegar and chitterling cocktail.
That is the best thing I have ever heard. I’m still laughing so hard I can barely type. That sounds intestinal.
Poor thing. Either take her to the doctor, or get out of Dodge, but that cannot be allowed to continue.
Your two cents