sometimes I'm a loser
EJ and Santa thru the years…
Dec 12th
Don’t you dare judge me!
I love taking Santa photos at Christmastime. They’re my absolute fav! Some folks think I’m too old for it, but we call those folks HATERS! So with the help of my mom I dug up a few of my faves thru the years. Enjoy! And FYI, I’m already braced for all the jokes about the glasses and the Jheri curl — so bring it!!!
This is me and my homie Brown Santa in ‘09:
For real you guys, he said he’s gonna try and make one of my shows this week! If Brown Santa shows up at the Improv, I. Will. Pass. Out.
More >
‘Other chubby singles’? Why does my computer hate me?
Nov 28th
OK, I used to work in digital marketing… I understand contextual advertising, keywords, and cookies. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t wanna throw my computer out the window when my Facebook account asks me if I would like to meet ‘other chubby singles.’
Booooooooooo.
That’s it — no more blogging about bad dates. And also no more shopping at lanebryant.com.
The Dreamie — say it ain’t so…
Nov 9th
I think we ALL know how much I heart the Snuggie.
Well, today my friend David sent me this video about the Dreamie:
How am I just now seeing this? It’s apparently been around for a while… Not sure exactly how I feel about it. I mean, I don’t sleep on satin sheets as it is, so I’m not sure this is quite as essential as the Snuggie.
HUSH YOUR MOUTH! The Snuggie is too essential!
It’s about time for me to begin compiling this Christmas’ wish list, so I’ll just throw the Dreamie on there and see what happens (ahem, ahem…)
EJ on the ‘E’ at Etown
Nov 8th
As advertised: Me standing on a big “E” at Elizabethtown College.
You’re welcome ;)
Cotton blends and conspiracies
Aug 26th
Sometimes I like to play Russian Roulette with my “dry clean only” clothes and throw them in the washing machine. It’s not because I can’t afford to have them cleaned. I do it for the thrill… and also because I secretly think there’s some kind of collusion between designers and dry cleaners… No way some of these fabrics can’t survive in the regular wash. I swear some of these designers get a cut of dry cleaning industry profits. 80% Cotton? I’m not sending that to the dry cleaners. You gotta be kidding me. I’m willing to throw it in the machine and roll the dice… or spin the wheel… or cock the pistol — feel free to choose the metaphor that works best for you.
When I win, it is EXHILARATING!
When I lose, it is EXPENSIVE.
In about a minute: An Eagles Fan in Redskins Country
Jun 17th
So a couple months ago I started to shoot a video blog at FedEx Field about what it’s like to be a Philadelphia Eagles fan living here in DC. I was interrupted by a FedEx field employee on a golf cart who *politely* informed me that I wasn’t allowed to do that. I wonder if that fact that I was rocking an Eagles t-shirt and dog tags had anything to do with it…
I never really finished shooting the blog after the “relocation” but figured I’d go ahead and post it anyway. It started out fun at least ;) Here goes:
Stop biting monkeys and stuff
Jun 16th
The other day my girlfriend Nikki was telling me how she had recently confused the expressions “monkey on your back” and “hair of the dog that bit you” into like “bite the monkey that bit you on your back” … or something equally as hilarious ;)
Which got me to thinking about the song “Monkey” by George Michael:
I LOVED George and Wham as a kid. And my 10 year old brain thought this was a song about a man whose girlfriend had a pet monkey that he was jealous of. I remember thinking if she loves him why would she choose to play with her monkey and make her boyfriend sad?
I wish I were kidding.
My cousin Morris who used to live with us explained the song to me… and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the 4th grade EJ learned all about the perils of substance abuse.
Hahaha… Of course I now realize that George Michael having a girlfriend was equally as funny as a woman who preferred a monkey to a man.
Get Fine ‘09 – Pt. 1
May 5th
There is nothing more discouraging than deciding to get in shape and realizing you can’t fit any of your old gym clothes. Literally y’all, I am working out so that I can fit into my sports bra.
My jogging/walking outfits are embarrassing. Today I just threw on a top and a bottom that looked relatively absorbent, topped it off with a GAP baseball cap and hit the road. I don’t have a fannypack (because well, for the same reason you don’t) so my blackberry was bulging from my capri sweatpants pocket. And the tennis shoes I was wearing — let’s just say there may be some photos of me wearing these same tennis shoes in college. During my cool down I passed another jogger – a very fit woman wearing a very cute jogging suit, and I was envious. Not of her figure, but of her color coordination. Yet I refuse to go out and buy cute workout clothes when I have perfectly good ones collecting dust at home.
Exhale… I’m gonna keep my head up though because in the words of the great philosopher Justin Timberlake, I gotta “get my sexy ONNNNN!” Operation Get Fine in ‘09 is going well so far. Wish me luck!
Arches and beans and tall buildings, OH MY!
Apr 27th
I’m gonna be honest. I don’t have much of an appreciation for national or regional landmarks, statues, etc. I live in Washington, D.C. and I pass by the monuments and museums everyday and I’m always like “Eh.” As I travel, I make it a point to go to all the neat touristy places I’m supposed to want to go, but I’m never excited by them.
A couple weeks ago, I went to Chicago for the first time. I stayed with my friend Montrelle and I loved, loved, loved the city. Check out the view he has from his balcony. This excited me.
You should have seen it at night...
When I was at his house, I spent most of my time out there. It was the perfect weekend. First time the weather broke for the spring. 70 degrees and sunny in April. Did I mention I loved it?
He also took me on an unofficial walking tour of the city. And don’t get me wrong, I was super grateful for it. He had worked all day and then walked miles with me. Took me to a great restaurant for dinner. He was an excellent host and guide. And the city was beautiful. But I just wasn’t as into the actual landmarks as I know I should have been. I made a quick little video. The audio’s not great b/c I left my video camera at home and had to shoot on my digital picture camera. But I think you’ll get the point.
A few days later I went to Missouri for a show at a college in Rolla, but I stopped off in St. Louis at the Gateway Arch because I’d never seen it. I called my Pop while I was there and he was like, “Well, what do you think?” And I was like, “Ummmm, it is definitely curvy. It’s making me hungry for McDonald’s french fries. I’m getting back in my car now.”
This is me in front of the Arch. You might not be able to tell because no one would take the photo for me. I had to do it myself and the angles… I thought Midwesterners were supposed to be nice.
Anyway, I was happy to have crossed the Arch off my list. But I didn’t feel fulfilled. People pack their families into station wagons and take vacations to see landmarks like this — well maybe not the Arch, but definitely the Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore… Is everyone secretly as unenthused as I am?
Or am I just a bad American?
OK so maybe I’m a LITTLE obsessed with the Snuggie…
Mar 16th
OK, so I was in my favorite store (CVS) tonite — as I am most nights — and as I was looking for some mailing labels, I came across Snuggies for sale on the value aisle…
I'm not a tattle-tale, but...
Now, I was under the impression that Snuggies weren’t available in retail stores — that they could only be ordered through their official website. But apparently I was wrong. That or CVS is bootlegging Snuggies, in which case I apologize profusely for this post — I’m not trying to get you caught out there C-to-the-V…
All my friends know how much I love CVS. I’m always letting them know about the deals I find — trying to convert the non-believers. Please see the text convo between me and my girl Sandi:
—— SMS Text ——
To: 617*******
Omg, they sell snuggies at cvs. I just bought one. 14.99 now I’m ready for the pub crawl… Hooray!!!
—— SMS Text ——
From: 617*******
Sent: Mar 16, 2009 6:15 PM
Haha. Cvs really does have EVERYTHING!
—— SMS Text ——
To: 617*******
I been trying to TELL you…
—— SMS Text ——
From: 617*******
Sent: Mar 16, 2009 6:17 PM
I’ll never doubt you again.
Anyway, as you know I already have a custom NFL fleece Snuggie, made for me by my girl DWJ…
My Eagles Snuggie!
But I couldn’t pass up the chance to pick up the authentic Snuggie. Because I really want to attend the Snuggie Pub Crawl in DC and I’m not sure if you can do it without an official Snuggie… I’m getting a little discouraged though because I’ve still yet to be notified when the DC Snuggie Pub Crawl is taking place. I joined the mailing list, but we’re almost out of Snuggie weather so I’m wondering if they’re gonna nix some of the cities.
And yes, I’m so serious. First, they’re donating proceeds from the event to charity (or at least they better be!!!) And second… do you know how HILARIOUS that would be?!? I would do a two-camera shoot and recruit a crew of correspondents and hit the streets. Talk about a video blog that writes itself. Drunken Snuggie Monks roaming the Cap City. Man oh man… I really hope I get the chance.
I couldn't resist... $14.99 AND the book light. CAMMAN!
Anyway, that’s me in my new Snuggie. Don’t be a hater. You know who you are ;) Holler.
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