I love taking Santa photos at Christmastime. They’re my absolute fav! Some folks think I’m too old for it, but we call those folks HATERS! So with the help of my mom I dug up a few of my faves thru the years. Enjoy! And FYI, I’m already braced for all the jokes about the glasses and the Jheri curl — so bring it!!!
OK, I used to work in digital marketing… I understand contextual advertising, keywords, and cookies. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t wanna throw my computer out the window when my Facebook account asks me if I would like to meet ‘other chubby singles.’
Booooooooooo.
That’s it — no more blogging about bad dates. And also no more shopping at lanebryant.com.
Well, today my friend David sent me this video about the Dreamie:
How am I just now seeing this? It’s apparently been around for a while… Not sure exactly how I feel about it. I mean, I don’t sleep on satin sheets as it is, so I’m not sure this is quite as essential as the Snuggie.
HUSH YOUR MOUTH! The Snuggie is too essential!
It’s about time for me to begin compiling this Christmas’ wish list, so I’ll just throw the Dreamie on there and see what happens (ahem, ahem…)
I really do have more important things I could be doing… but like most of you at your jobs — I’m not.
I took a few minutes last nite to throw together this little message to the corporate offices of the Wm. Wrigley Company — the manufacturers of LifeSavers and other sweet treats because I bought a bag of sugar-free LifeSavers yesterday and there was only ONE green apple candy in the entire bag… Now, in case you’ve never had sugar-free LifeSavers, green apple is the only flavor that even remotely resembles yummy, so you can imagine how angry I was when I saw that they shafted me. Admittedly, this is probably one of the most pointless videos I’ve ever done, but I made it. So I’m posting it. Enjoy.
Sometimes I like to play Russian Roulette with my “dry clean only” clothes and throw them in the washing machine. It’s not because I can’t afford to have them cleaned. I do it for the thrill… and also because I secretly think there’s some kind of collusion between designers and dry cleaners… No way some of these fabrics can’t survive in the regular wash. I swear some of these designers get a cut of dry cleaning industry profits. 80% Cotton? I’m not sending that to the dry cleaners. You gotta be kidding me. I’m willing to throw it in the machine and roll the dice… or spin the wheel… or cock the pistol — feel free to choose the metaphor that works best for you.
So a couple months ago I started to shoot a video blog at FedEx Field about what it’s like to be a Philadelphia Eagles fan living here in DC. I was interrupted by a FedEx field employee on a golf cart who *politely* informed me that I wasn’t allowed to do that. I wonder if that fact that I was rocking an Eagles t-shirt and dog tags had anything to do with it…
I never really finished shooting the blog after the “relocation” but figured I’d go ahead and post it anyway. It started out fun at least ;) Here goes:
The other day my girlfriend Nikki was telling me how she had recently confused the expressions “monkey on your back” and “hair of the dog that bit you” into like “bite the monkey that bit you on your back” … or something equally as hilarious ;)
Which got me to thinking about the song “Monkey” by George Michael:
I LOVED George and Wham as a kid. And my 10 year old brain thought this was a song about a man whose girlfriend had a pet monkey that he was jealous of. I remember thinking if she loves him why would she choose to play with her monkey and make her boyfriend sad?
I wish I were kidding.
My cousin Morris who used to live with us explained the song to me… and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the 4th grade EJ learned all about the perils of substance abuse.
Hahaha… Of course I now realize that George Michael having a girlfriend was equally as funny as a woman who preferred a monkey to a man.
There is nothing more discouraging than deciding to get in shape and realizing you can’t fit any of your old gym clothes. Literally y’all, I am working out so that I can fit into my sports bra.
My jogging/walking outfits are embarrassing. Today I just threw on a top and a bottom that looked relatively absorbent, topped it off with a GAP baseball cap and hit the road. I don’t have a fannypack (because well, for the same reason you don’t) so my blackberry was bulging from my capri sweatpants pocket. And the tennis shoes I was wearing — let’s just say there may be some photos of me wearing these same tennis shoes in college. During my cool down I passed another jogger - a very fit woman wearing a very cute jogging suit, and I was envious. Not of her figure, but of her color coordination. Yet I refuse to go out and buy cute workout clothes when I have perfectly good ones collecting dust at home.
Exhale… I’m gonna keep my head up though because in the words of the great philosopher Justin Timberlake, I gotta “get my sexy ONNNNN!” Operation Get Fine in ‘09 is going well so far. Wish me luck!
I’m gonna be honest. I don’t have much of an appreciation for national or regional landmarks, statues, etc. I live in Washington, D.C. and I pass by the monuments and museums everyday and I’m always like “Eh.” As I travel, I make it a point to go to all the neat touristy places I’m supposed to want to go, but I’m never excited by them.
A couple weeks ago, I went to Chicago for the first time. I stayed with my friend Montrelle and I loved, loved, loved the city. Check out the view he has from his balcony. This excited me.
You should have seen it at night...
When I was at his house, I spent most of my time out there. It was the perfect weekend. First time the weather broke for the spring. 70 degrees and sunny in April. Did I mention I loved it?
He also took me on an unofficial walking tour of the city. And don’t get me wrong, I was super grateful for it. He had worked all day and then walked miles with me. Took me to a great restaurant for dinner. He was an excellent host and guide. And the city was beautiful. But I just wasn’t as into the actual landmarks as I know I should have been. I made a quick little video. The audio’s not great b/c I left my video camera at home and had to shoot on my digital picture camera. But I think you’ll get the point.
A few days later I went to Missouri for a show at a college in Rolla, but I stopped off in St. Louis at the Gateway Arch because I’d never seen it. I called my Pop while I was there and he was like, “Well, what do you think?” And I was like, “Ummmm, it is definitely curvy. It’s making me hungry for McDonald’s french fries. I’m getting back in my car now.”
This is me in front of the Arch. You might not be able to tell because no one would take the photo for me. I had to do it myself and the angles… I thought Midwesterners were supposed to be nice.
Anyway, I was happy to have crossed the Arch off my list. But I didn’t feel fulfilled. People pack their families into station wagons and take vacations to see landmarks like this — well maybe not the Arch, but definitely the Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore… Is everyone secretly as unenthused as I am?
Your two cents