if we hadn't buried it I'd call you a…
OK, so let me get this straight… A company called Mo Money Taxes with this logo is writing bad refund checks and defrauding its customers?
I’m even more shocked by the number of people in the Hampton Roads area who were willing to go on camera and admit they were un-smart enough to get their taxes done at Mo Money Taxes. I’d probably have broken a window, but… un uh.
My friend Damon said getting your taxes done by these folks is “Darwinism at work,” and although that may be a bit harsh, I’m inclined to agree with his sentiment. I mean there’s “keeping it real/in the community” and then there’s just “dumb sh!t.” I do hope these people get their money, though. Especially the guy in the video with the skully on. He looks really mad.
1 :one who encourages another to persist in self-destructive behavior by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior.
Rather than use it in a sentence, I have opted instead to offer a visual explanation. Please check out this video clip and the photo below and meet me on the other side.
You see all those people cheering in the audience? Jersey Shore Ronnie sitting on somebody’s shoulders? And all the other artists giving Wayne dap? I’m talking especially to YOU — Khaled, Rick Ross… They have enabled this once-clever lyricist to the point where he now thinks everything he does is hot — including running around the stage bare bird-chested in leopard pajama jeans and Ronald McDonald shoes, singing R&B and pretending to play electric guitar.
Part of the problem is that once anyone gets super famous like Wayne, a “yes” bubble forms around them.
WAYNE: Yo, y’all think I should rock these jungle print footie pajamas to the MTV Awards?
THEM: If we say no, you still gon’ pay our rent?
THEM: Then, yes.
Or maybe it’s just the drugs. I mean would a clean Wayne — even if surrounded by an army of “yes men” — do some of the things he does? I think if he actually has some people in his life that really care about him, they should call the folks over at A&E and get dude on an episode of “Intervention.” All they’d need to do is get him halfway sober and show him his VMA performance from Sunday night. The show would only need to last 4 minutes. Just get everybody in the room, turn on the DVR, put him in the limo to the rehab, roll credits. Cause I mean, really… What more is there to say?
This movie is so bad Vivica Fox decided to use an alias.
Which says a lot considering she was in Juwanna Man, Booty Call, Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood — I could go on but do I really need to? I wish I had taken a photo of the first screen of the description of this movie. It said something to the effect of “Combining the best aspects of Beauty Shop and Barbershop, this film…” Exhale. Not only does it fall short of honoring these — what in comparison to this movie seem like — cinematic masterpieces, it tries way too hard to tackle way too many societal issues. I didn’t watch from the beginning, but in the time I was watching the characters addressed:
- Corruption within the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences
- Why it took being demeaned by Billy Bob Thornton for a Black woman to win an Oscar
- The unfairness of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
- Gay bashing
- Domestic and emotional abuse
- Women who “use their bodies as commodities” in order to get expensive gifts
- A history lesson on the contributions of Black inventors to American society.
Oh, and there were pimps and ho’s too.
It was 10x preachier than any Tyler perry movie or sitcom episode — if that’s even possible. I kept expecting Keenan Ivory Wayans to pop out of nowhere and scream “Message” in the middle of the scenes like he did here:
And if all that contrived morality weren’t bad enough, there were White women getting their hair cornrowed in the salon.
In conclusion, this mess of a movie was 92 minutes too long.
That is all.
So I just read the blog/letter/bletter (below) that T.I. wrote from the pen about being sick and tired of going in and out of the pen all his life. I feel really sorry for him for having to suffer through so many horrible, unavoidable jail bids.
Here is the text of the blog:
This experience is truly a pain I have never felt before and that’s saying a lot for a nigga who’s been down locked up as many times as I have. I see this as a real ass whoopin’. The kind you don’t just go back outside to play afterwards. You take ya ass to bed and don’t come out of your room until it’s time to go to school. I don’ t know what effect this will have on my life moving forward but I’m certainly sick and mother f*cking tired of going to jail, juve, prison, the pen, correctional facilities or whatever else you want to call it. I’d have been better off doing a 5-10 year bid one time than going in time and time again for days, weeks and months for the last 15 years of my life. Even though it’s been a long road, I’m still standing, barely but nevertheless still standing. At one time I thought my motivation for continuing was for my fans, my partna Philant, my pops, my grandmama, even for the haters or the people I let down. But nah… I got to do this shit for me!!! I’ll be God damned if I’ve come all this way and made it through so much hell to let it go down like this! F*ck that! If an hour in the dark is worth a second in the sun then pass me my mother f*ckin’ shades cause I’m ready to cash my darkest hours in…ASAP!!! A lot of folks had fathers or father figures in the house to raise them into manhood. I’m not trying to make any excuses for my situation but my father was a hustler that lived in New York. My uncle was a local big time dope boy turned 10 year federal inmate. My mother and grandparents did the best they could but I found my manhood in the trap and in prison systems. But I found it. And nan one of mine will ever have to feel the cold tight grip of a handcuff or grace the presence of a jail cell if I can help it. Over my dead body! So if you can’t respect that you ain’t rocking with my movement then Fuck you dog! I know a bunch of mother f*ckers who are…..
- Love KING
Yeah, way not to make excuses, Tip. I gotta say I’ve always been a big T.I. fan and after the gun thing and the MTV show where he helped the kids and the jail bid before this one, I really thought he’d gotten the message and was ready to change his life. I’m not going to address the jumper he “talked off the ledge” because, well that ridiculous publicity stunt has nothing to do with the subject of this post — except to illustrate that T.I. really must be sick of jail and desperate to stay out if he set up a stunt like that and actually thought it’d have an impact on his sentencing… Yeah I said it — and if you don’t think he set that up, you need Jesus.
Speaking of Jesus…
After I finished reading his letter, I decided to read thru a few of the comments. I was pleasantly surprised to see that not all of the posters were d**k riders — that a few of them saw his excuses for what they were and called him on it. But then I saw this comment. And it stopped me in my proverbial tracks.
I’m sorry, did SIRX16 compare T.I. to Paul? The Apostle Paul? Paul who wrote like 12 books of the Bible, Paul?
T.I. is to Paul as… as…
T.I. isn’t to Paul at all. Boooooo.
My trip to Cincy has been absolutely delicious so far. And its only been a day. Last nite someÂ students brought their dog to one of my college shows. The dog was called Lil Nigga. I have so much more to say about that. Stay tuned for the video blog… Then today I witnessed a fight between two rival homeless factions in Fountain Square… It started like this:
“50-cent ho. That’s why you got pregnant by yo own cousin.”
“Yo mama’s a 50-cent ho. I would kill you but I don’t need another charge.”
Of COURSE I have videotape — who do you think you’re dealing with here? I can’t wait to get home and cut together this blog.
Tomorrow I think I’m gonna go to the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center. I feel like I need to go see something historical and meaningful and inspiring to counter the ignorance I’ve seen so far. I think of it as balancing the qi.
Be back soon, E
Hey y’all! Back home for a beat and put together this quick little recap of my trip to Appleton, WI this past weekend. I was working at the Skyline Comedy Cafe and although the shows were a blast, I didn’t rent a car so I got cabin fever towards the end of the week. Check out the video for ensuing hijinx. Who knows, this may be my next foray into shameless ploys to get people who come out to the shows to visit my website — maybe I can shoot a silly video blog in every town.
Yeah, you’re right… I’m way too lazy for that ;) Y’all know me so well.
Anywayz, I hope you enjoy ;)
This is all that’s left of my car.
Someone stole it early yesterday morning. There were 7 car break-ins on my block, but mine appears to be the only one that was taken. As y’all know I need my car to do my job. Travel is a huge part of being a comic and if I can’t get from one gig to the next… well you understand.
The insurance company tried to comfort me by telling me that 65% of all stolen cars are recovered. But that means very little when I have to be in Jersey tomorrow nite and had to pay to rent a car on my own. And the 35% chance of having to get a new car (not new, new though. I’ll never do that again) when I have exactly no money is so frightening.
The thing I will never understand (and I’m aware that this is going to sound awful) is why people who don’t have much and live in the hood steal from other people in the hood… It’s like if you have to take sh!t, go to the high-rent districts where people have cars to spare. We’re over here trying to make it just like them. They stole my 10-year old Corolla which has been awesome and hella reliable but also had just 3 hubcaps, lots of scratches and a big dent on the right side. It’s pretty obvious that that’s all I have. The GPS I was gifted that helps me out when I’m working on the road, my video camera, tripod… all of that was in there. I have no idea how I’m gonna recoup that considering the Blue Book of the car is less than $2,000 and well, I’m a comedian who’s had a very slow summer. It was worth so much more.
They gotta find it. That’s it.
This is why I love independent, alternative newspapers. No one else (not The Washington Post and CERTAINLY not The Washington Times) would run that headline/cover story. There really is no need to read any further. That headline is the thesis, body, and closing of the article all wrapped into one… And isn’t that what quality journalism is all about?
I can’t lie: I was quite shocked and thought it was a joke when my girl brought it to my attention, but I kinda love that they did this. I just might love the transcripts and recordings of ex-mayor Barry’s voicemail messages a little bit more. Geez Louise… who knew Marion Barry was that crazy? Well, besides everyone…
God bless the City Paper.
It’s been around for years so most of you have probably seen this already (nearly 10 million YouTube hits). But if you haven’t I hope you… enjoyed it???… Not sure if ‘enjoy’ is the proper word, but I digress… A friend of mine who’s FROM Alabama sent this to me last year and then proceeded to call me damn near everyday to ask me if I saw the leprechaun. HA! I then proceeded to send it to all my friends. And then one day out of the blue my friend Dana who is an artist (I mean, you’d have to be to create such a masterpiece, wouldn’t ya? ;) sent me an e-mail with this attachment:
I remember I almost choked to death on nothing.
Exhale… I’m pretty sure that as a proud Black woman, this should embarrass me, but the comedian in me made me post it ;) That, and the fact that it’s St. Patty’s Day AND I recently bought the t-shirt below from Lookatmeshirts.com, which is a t-shirt site run by comic Josh Sneed and his designer friend. This site is also where I got the Randy Watson tee.
What can I say? I’m a sucker for a funny t-shirt ;) Happy St. Patty’s Day!!!