I don’t know what to say…
Archive for the 'if we hadn't buried it I'd call you a...' Category
My trip to Cincy has been absolutely delicious so far. And its only been a day. Last nite some students brought their dog to one of my college shows. The dog was called Lil Nigga. I have so much more to say about that. Stay tuned for the video blog… Then today I witnessed a fight between two rival homeless factions in Fountain Square… It started like this:
“50-cent ho. That’s why you got pregnant by yo own cousin.”
“Yo mama’s a 50-cent ho. I would kill you but I don’t need another charge.”
Of COURSE I have videotape — who do you think you’re dealing with here? I can’t wait to get home and cut together this blog.
Tomorrow I think I’m gonna go to the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center. I feel like I need to go see something historical and meaningful and inspiring to counter the ignorance I’ve seen so far. I think of it as balancing the qi.
Be back soon, E
Hey y’all! Back home for a beat and put together this quick little recap of my trip to Appleton, WI this past weekend. I was working at the Skyline Comedy Cafe and although the shows were a blast, I didn’t rent a car so I got cabin fever towards the end of the week. Check out the video for ensuing hijinx. Who knows, this may be my next foray into shameless ploys to get people who come out to the shows to visit my website — maybe I can shoot a silly video blog in every town.
Yeah, you’re right… I’m way too lazy for that ;) Y’all know me so well.
Anywayz, I hope you enjoy ;)
This is all that’s left of my car.
Someone stole it early yesterday morning. There were 7 car break-ins on my block, but mine appears to be the only one that was taken. As y’all know I need my car to do my job. Travel is a huge part of being a comic and if I can’t get from one gig to the next… well you understand.
The insurance company tried to comfort me by telling me that 65% of all stolen cars are recovered. But that means very little when I have to be in Jersey tomorrow nite and had to pay to rent a car on my own. And the 35% chance of having to get a new car (not new, new though. I’ll never do that again) when I have exactly no money is so frightening.
The thing I will never understand (and I’m aware that this is going to sound awful) is why people who don’t have much and live in the hood steal from other people in the hood… It’s like if you have to take sh!t, go to the high-rent districts where people have cars to spare. We’re over here trying to make it just like them. They stole my 10-year old Corolla which has been awesome and hella reliable but also had just 3 hubcaps, lots of scratches and a big dent on the right side. It’s pretty obvious that that’s all I have. The GPS I was gifted that helps me out when I’m working on the road, my video camera, tripod… all of that was in there. I have no idea how I’m gonna recoup that considering the Blue Book of the car is less than $2,000 and well, I’m a comedian who’s had a very slow summer. It was worth so much more.
They gotta find it. That’s it.
This is why I love independent, alternative newspapers. No one else (not The Washington Post and CERTAINLY not The Washington Times) would run that headline/cover story. There really is no need to read any further. That headline is the thesis, body, and closing of the article all wrapped into one… And isn’t that what quality journalism is all about?
I can’t lie: I was quite shocked and thought it was a joke when my girl brought it to my attention, but I kinda love that they did this. I just might love the transcripts and recordings of ex-mayor Barry’s voicemail messages a little bit more. Geez Louise… who knew Marion Barry was that crazy? Well, besides everyone…
God bless the City Paper.
It’s been around for years so most of you have probably seen this already (nearly 10 million YouTube hits). But if you haven’t I hope you… enjoyed it???… Not sure if ‘enjoy’ is the proper word, but I digress… A friend of mine who’s FROM Alabama sent this to me last year and then proceeded to call me damn near everyday to ask me if I saw the leprechaun. HA! I then proceeded to send it to all my friends. And then one day out of the blue my friend Dana who is an artist (I mean, you’d have to be to create such a masterpiece, wouldn’t ya? ;) sent me an e-mail with this attachment:
I remember I almost choked to death on nothing.
Exhale… I’m pretty sure that as a proud Black woman, this should embarass me, but the comedian in me made me post it ;) That, and the fact that it’s St. Patty’s Day AND I recently bought the t-shirt below from Lookatmeshirts.com, which is a t-shirt site run by comic Josh Sneed and his designer friend. This site is also where I got the Randy Watson tee.
Quarterly boob shot -- Enjoy, next one won't be 'til June ;)
What can I say? I’m a sucker for a funny t-shirt ;) Happy St. Patty’s Day!!!
Etta trying to drum up buzz for her Beyonce/Barack diss album
***Etta James talking greasy (Listen)***
In case you haven’t heard this yet, Etta James was talking mad smack about President Obama and Beyonce. What is this old chick thinking? Barack isn’t her president? Kicking Beyonce’s ass? Etta you’re 71. “The bucket” is the only damn thing you’re gonna be kicking… Guess she’s just salty because she didn’t get to sing at the inaugural balls.
I love how classy Beyonce is in not making a statement. I have a girl-crush on her. Talk about ungrateful… If Beyonce hadn’t just played her in Cadillac Records, Etta James would just be another utterly irrelevant “sayer of nay” right now (shout to Michael S. ;)
In the words of the great philosopher Jill Scott, “Hate on hater.”
I know we buried the “N” word last year.
But it’s time to dig it up. Because there’s no other word fit to describe the people behind this container of ‘BlackQuick‘. No matter what race the person was, that would still be the most appropriate word.
I hate EVERYTHING about this
Is it possible to UN-see something you’ve already seen?
Damn you, ‘English’ and whoever gave you the materials for your art project.
No one will blame you for confusing these two. It’s a completey understandable mistake.
This little number is to honor DC Mayor Emeritus Marion “Bitch set me up” Barry for the boldness he continuously displays in not paying taxes while he is on PAROLE for tax evasion. This is the second time he hasn’t filed since being convicted.
I wasn’t living in DC while he was mayor, but times sure musta been good. Because this man is a crack smokin’, no tax payin’, parole violatin’ felonious city official (re-elected mayor after CRACKgate and currently serving on the City Council) and people still think he can do no wrong. Talk about teflon. Dude must be a wizard.
Your two cents