i heart it
An astute observation
Aug 31st
I just received this comment on the previous post from a new poster:
“I like Vince Gray, but whenever I see the guy I can’t help but think he sleeps in a coffin at night.”
Vince Gray
Ummm… I cannot argue with this statement.
What year is it in your wallet, sir?
Aug 30th
I was at an Applebees nite before last, and when the man sitting behind me got his check, he asked the server:
You guys take Diners Club, right?
Ummm… what? I didn’t even know those still existed. Weren’t they bought out a while back? I couldn’t even hold in the laugh. What’s that in your glass sir? I had assumed it was Coke, but now I’m guessing Tab…? If it weren’t so late and I wasn’t feeling so lazy, I’d add a few more random references I haven’t heard much about since the 80’s. But, well… I am, so feel free to imagine and insert your own (Tang, pagers, IROC-Z’s — just a few ideas to get you started on your brainstorming). And remember the rule of three — just because I’m not writing it doesn’t mean I don’t still want it to be hilarious. Don’t worry so much about this rule of three though. Because that wouldn’t make any sense in this context. Ok, too much.
G’nite.
To the Bride and Groom!
Aug 15th
I’m not sure why it still feels so surreal when one of my friends gets married or has a baby… Maybe it’s because I’m in denial about how old I am. ;) Maybe it’s cause despite all we’ve seen and gone thru, I still think of us as those kids growing up in Jersey. Or maybe it’s because those things seem so far off in my life… But whatever the case I had another one of those moments this weekend when I attended the wedding of one of my absolute favorite people on the planet!
This is my friend Daryl and his gorgeous bride Lyla. They had one of the most amazing weddings I’ve ever been to and they partied HARD all nite long!
Nearly all of my closest friends from high school and elementary school were there — in fact we joked that Daryl and Lyla financed our 15th HS reunion and there was no need for us to go since pretty much everyone we cared to see was already there. But as I was looking around the room I realized that just about everybody, save two or three of us was married and/or had kids. A couple of years ago I thought, “Man, they all sure got married up quick.” But now I realize I’m the one that’s slow rolling.
Sometimes (a lot actually) I worry that my lifestyle is making it exponentially harder for me to make moves in that area of my life (How would I even fit a relationship in? I had to bow out of their reception early so I could hit the road back from Jersey to BWI for a 6am flight). But I also sincerely believe that I will have those things if they are meant for me. In the meantime I will be happy knowing that all my married friends are in very happy, healthy relationships. So if I ever find myself venturing down that road, I’ll have some fantastic couples to ping for advice!
Again best of luck to the new Mr. & Mr. Phills as they begin their life together. I love you guys and can’t wait to see what comes next!
Broadway Fun, Funny Broads (is that offensive?), and I Do’s
Aug 13th
So… I am in the NJ/NY area this week for a few reasons. First, one of my closest friends is getting married tonite. Hooray for this. Also I had a show on Wednesday nite in the city (see the post below). But Wednesday afternoon before my show I finally was able to see FELA! — the hit Broadway musical about the life of Afrobeat pioneer Fela Kuti. It was FANTASTIC!!! Here is a clip below:
The show only runs thru January but I just heard that Patti LaBelle is joining the cast this fall, so if you haven’t seen it yet, it’s only going to get better! Oh, and in other related and even more awesome news, my imaginary boyfriend Chiwitel Ejiofor will be playing Fela in Steve McQueen’s upcoming biopic.
Yummy.
My show Wednesday nite was super fun. Organized by Jen Dziura and Abbi Crutchfield, this was the press preview for their new all-female weekly showcase called Ladybits. Performing on the show were Jen, Abbi, Bonnie McFarlane and yours truly. I had a bunch of friends who live in the area come out and the room was packed. Great start ladies!!! I wish you the best of luck. They had a sketch artist sketching us while we were onstage. I’m looking forward to seeing this sketch. I asked her to draw me thinner. We’ll see what she comes up with… After the show I went for sushi with the hilarious Ms. McFarlane and the equally hilarious Morgan Murphy. Fun times! I can’t wait til I live in New York.
Switching gears, I’m looking very forward to this wedding tonite. It’s going to be a huge event — 270+ guests. Open bar… And guess who has to leave directly from the reception (possibly during) to hit the road for a butt-crack-of-dawn flight outta BWI? Yup… *this girl.* :(
Well, I wish the happy couple nothing but happiness and love and I can’t wait to see them and everyone else!
This little piggy…
Aug 2nd
This may be the funniest thing I’ve seen on TV all year. Every time I see it, I holler like a wild banshee — and I don’t even know what that is.
I heart GEICO.
I hope you don’t make it to the future / T-shirt Promo — Take 2
Jul 23rd
The video above is the bit that the t-shirts I sell after my shows are based on. Some people hate them and think they’re mean. But most people think they’re awesome — especially teachers. It AMAZES me how many teachers come up to me to tell me they’re teachers before they purchase one (or more). They always tell me they can’t wait til the weekend to wear it. I always imagine them running into their students and/or their parents at the grocery store.
It makes me happy.
Either way I know there are a lot of folks out there who share my sentiment. Maybe they wouldn’t say it so directly or in public, but I see y’all out there. It’s in the eyes. I know my Dad would/will die when he sees this clip (LANGUAGE!!!) Ha ha. But there’s no other way to tell that second story.
And it’s a story that must be told.
If you’re offended by this, I’m sorry you have no sense of humor. But if you’re not offended and want your own shirt, check out the merchandise page on my site and cop yourself one. It will make you happy too.
Lenny Kravitz Swoon x 2
Jul 1st
Earlier today on my Facebook page I posted this video:
“With my head held handsome” is probably my favorite line in this sketch. Hilarious every single time I watch it — not to mention all the yummy eye candy. Lenny Kravitz especially! In addition to being talented and gorgeous, he’s hilarious in this too. ;) Well, in the comments under the video my friend Jessica told me about a video she had just seen of Lenny Kravitz crashing a choir concert in Louisiana, so I Googled and found it. And it’s probably the coolest thing I’ve seen a celebrity do in a really, really long time.
He made those kids’ day! And you could tell it was completely spontaneous. He was super humble and seemed to be appreciative of them for playing his music. I love to see folks who’ve made it big but are still just normal.
This made my day too.
Insomnia
Jun 29th
This is the kind of thing I do when I can’t sleep. Sure, I probably could have found something more productive to do with my bonus hours. But productivity is nowhere near as funny.
Top of the World!!!
Jun 22nd
Just got back from a long road trip that included visits to Atlanta, Birmingham, AL, and Aspen, CO. I was in Aspen for a comedy festival with some of my favorite comedy buddies. And on the last day a few of us took a gondola up to the top of Aspen Mountain. OMG, so beautiful! More photos to come but this one makes me so happy I had to go ahead and post it right away!
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