I know you told us you wouldn’t … but could you please stop?
Archive for the 'BOOOOOO!' Category
So this showed up in my Google reader as one of the most-viewed videos of the day. And I truly believe I’m solely responsible for this. Because I have watched this clip 312,457 times… and counting ;) Man, do y’all remember how dope Jodeci was? … I need to pull out Forever My Lady or Diary of a Mad Band STAT. Thems sure was the days…
Sidebar — WHO in the hell told K-Ci that it was OK to bare his cracky chest? Over the past few years, I don’t think I’ve seen one clip of him with a shirt on… (SMH). The funniest part is that K-Ci keeps singing. Michael K over at DListed says, “If K-Ci stops singing, they won’t get paid for the gig and who will pay for their crack rocks?!” Tee hee ;) … too funny. Why did dude just pick up the mic and keep stepping?… Like that ish happens every nite. Oh man…
I think Whitney said it best. Crack is whack… Do YOU know?
So I wasn’t working this past weekend and got a chance to be ‘normal’ ;) and hang with some of my friends. Hooray! On Friday nite, me and my friend Kellz went out to a club. I put on a dress and heels and we got to the club before it was real packed and set up shop on the first floor by the bar.
Perfect.
The music was great. They were playing a lot of old school hip hop and R&B, some Chaka… a little Tribe. We were having a great time. We even spotted an S-Curl and I made Kellz pretend I was taking a picture of her so old boy wouldn’t know we were clowning him…
Big fun.
After about an hour, we went upstairs to the second level. And as we were standing on the outskirts of the dance floor watching folks get their dance on, I slowly began to realize that I didn’t know any of the music the DJ was playing. You know that “Awwwwww, s—! That’s my joint / Woooooo!” sound that happens right after the DJ plays the first few notes of a club banger??? Well I heard it repeatedly… I saw the hands go up in the air. But I didn’t recognize any of the songs.
How the hell did this happen?
I consciously stopped listening to urban contemporary radio stations several years ago — not because I don’t like hip hop — but because I *do.* And what passes for hip hop and R&B on the radio these days sickens me. I prefer to read reviews and forums, find artists that I like and buy/download their music myself. But even so, the ignorance that floods the airwaves has always found a way to somehow seep into my consciousness. Thru commercials or MTV or something… Last Friday however, I literally knew none of the songs that were played in like a 20-minute period.
What are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Should you just throw your hands up in the air when everyone else does and pretend like you like the raggedy-ass ‘music’ that’s playing (as one friend suggested)? Or do you just acknowledge the fact that you’re over it and look for a comfy seat?
I opted for option #2.
Overall I enjoyed myself that nite but I spent the last half hour we were there texting a friend of mine who was being equally lame at another club…
My how times change… Continue reading ‘Damn, I don’t know this song either’
So I just got back from a great week at the Funnybone in Virginia Beach. I did a little shopping, a little relaxing, worked with great people in a great room, and the check cleared. You can’t ask for much more.
Also while I was down there, I re-evaluated and re-ordered the must-have characteristics I need in a potential mate.
Here’s the background: Thursday nite after the show I went back to the comics’ condo, which is a very neat, very clean garden style unit. But because its a garden apartment, the front door opens right to the outside. I put the key in the door and then realized that there was a huge flying/hopping ’croach’ thingy (wasn’t sure if it was a cricket or a roach) on the door. I totally freaked because I am paralyzed by bugs. Anyone who knows me well already marvels at how I was able to live in that little basement apartment in the hood for 8 years.
Tylenol PM and Benadryl is how. You’re not worried about croaches when you see unicorns…. But I digress.
I literally was so tired and buzzed all I wanted was to crawl in the bed. But I was frozen. I called the headliner who is a friend of mine and was like, “Could you stay on the phone with me until this croach dies?” He humored me for about three minutes. We talked about how if hell was a personal hell customized for each of us what would be in each of ours… And we determined that mine would be full of croaches and other pests, octopus/pi or anything else with tentacles, that scene from the Matrix when they put that tracker thing into Neo’s belly would be playing on an eternal loop … and there would be black olives everywhere … I HATE black olives.
After he wished me well and got off the phone I still couldn’t go in. It wasn’t a matter of just opening and closing the door really quickly… because I didn’t know if it was a cricket or a roach. How fast was it? That’s need-to-know info. Because where it was positioned on the door if I opened the door it was literally going to BE inside… What to do?
So I called my buddy Dawan. He’ll humor me I thought… Plus he’s in LA so its not so late. He talked me thru it. Told me to break off a piece of the crepe myrtle outside and brush it off the door. But just as I pulled the branch, he was like, “Make sure there’s no bugs on the branch.” I threw it and screamed. I hadn’t thought of that…
Eventually he convinced me to pick up the branch and brush the croach off the door. I did it and I exhaled… but then it ran back to the door at lightning speed.
Roach for sure.
Finally after a while I was so delirious, I just held my breath and chanced it. I got in, shut the door behind me and stood still for like 10 seconds to make sure it didn’t make it in. I was safe.
It wasn’t til then that D laughed at me and said how rich we would be if I had been recording the incident. We’d be Youtube stars. He’s a good friend. The best… But it got me to thinking… ‘Croach killer’ was not on my list of must-haves in a man. Stability, trustworthiness, great sense of humor… All those things are great. But no matter how much I love you, we can’t both be standing on the sofa scared of a damn spider… I need to add it to my list and move it towards the top.
So thanks Virginia Beach for the much-needed priority shift, and the new bit ;)
So after spending a crapload of money on brakes and a new windshield yesterday, I went to the DMV to get my car inspected this morning. It took forever — I saw 5 or 6 cars go thru the whole process while my baby just sat there. When they finally pulled her out of the garage I went over to the inspector guy to find out the results…
Me: Did it pass?
Inspector guy: No
Me: What do I need?
Inspector guy: A new car
HA! That is so funny. It actually did pass, but for about 3 seconds I was tuning up for the biggest cry I’ve had in months. Everyone’s a comic.
Oh and don’t forget to watch me on Live at Gotham tomorrow nite at 10pm Eastern on Comedy Central. They just put up another clip on the CC website… shecketout below!
This is one of my favorite pieces of art in D.C. It’s a sculpture called The Awakening and for the last 28 years, it’s resided at Hains Point in D.C.’s East Potomac Park. It’s huge – like 100 feet long and though a lot of people think it’s creepy, I think it’s beautiful.
Hains Point sits right on the Potomac and has always been my favorite summer cool-out spot. On Sundays people just drive up there and play music, chill at the picnic areas… And whenever I have friends visit I love to take them there. In college my girl Jess and I spent more than a few drunken nights climbing the statue and taking ridiculous photos–none of which I’m willing to post here. “Look it’s grabbing my butt. Now you sit in the hand…” Oh those were the days…
But today they’re digging up the statue and moving it to a burgeoning new ‘hot spot’ in Prince George’s County–the National Harbor. Some guy bought it for like three-quarters of a million dollars and it’s now gonna “anchor the main promenade at Prince George’s County’s National Harbor project.”
Well, booooooo! P.G. County needs to get their own damn statue and leave ours the hell alone. Really rich guy? Just “I want that one!” like Michael Jackson in that souvenir store? Y’all remember what I’m talking about… If you have $750,000 to spend, you could have just paid someone to build you your own. I hate rich people. I can’t wait til I’m rich so I can give some rich people a piece of my mind.
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