Archive for June, 2009
Another Snuggie convert
Jun 30th
This one goes out to all of y’all who hate on my beloved Snuggie. Feel free to check out some of my other Snuggie posts…
Anyway, I received the following e-mail on Facebook last nite. No further explanation needed. Read it and acknowledge the awesomeness of the Snuggie.
Please and thank you.
I also would like to report that since my CVS blog I have brought a few people over from the drug store dark side to the light. I guess you could call me… a missionary of sorts.
You could also call me a few other things… but please, just not to my face. ;)
Dear Max: I ain’t no punk!
Jun 29th
So yesterday after we stopped by Eastern Market to pick up some peaches and nectarines and saw “The Taking of Pelham 123,” my friend Kojo and I went to Capital Q for lunch. If you’ve never been there, it’s pretty good barbecue. And well, then there’s the ambiance… The walls are papered with autographed 1-dollar bills that contain anything from the person’s name who left it there, to love notes, political slogans, etc.
When we ordered the guy behind the counter asked me if I wanted mild or hot sauce on my sandwich. I said ‘hot’ and he asked me if I was sure and then gave me one of those ‘you’re gonna regret it‘ looks. It wasn’t my first time there and the sauce is hot but it’s nothing a cup of water won’t fix. He kept giggling like I didn’t know what I was getting myself into but I assured him I wanted it hot. Then when I returned to the counter to ask for some more sauce for my sandwich (he was being stingy — or maybe he thought he was ‘protecting’ me), he proceeded to follow me back to my seat and watch me eat it. “I’m FINE!” I kept telling him. I was like “I don’t know what kind of punks you have coming in here, but this sauce is NOT that hot.” Kojo said he probably made the hot sauce that day and wanted to see how well he’d done.
Anyway I asked him his name, and then I asked him for a marker and some tape so that I could leave a dollar on the wall with a little message to him on it. His name was Max. And below is my contribution to the decor:
I told him where he could find the message and left. He was funny. I took a photo with it, just in case I’m ever in Chinatown and need a dollar. Imma go back for it. Please believe it. Tee hee and hee ;)
Is nothing sacred?
Jun 28th
Yesterday morning I was on the phone with my mom trying to help her reconnect to her Wi-Fi at home. My dad had borrowed her laptop for travel and she didn’t know how to get back online… Any Gen-X’er who has ever tried to explain computer functionality and/or the Internet to their folks has certainly felt my pain. I know I should be more understanding, but it’s something I have very little patience for because it’s such a no-brainer to me… Anyway, getting to the point, I posted the following update on Twitter:
Well…
She somehow found it and e-mailed me. Here is the exchange that ensued:
——Original Message——
From: Linda Jackson
To: Me
Subject: Don ‘t Be Talkin”Bout me on da web
Sent: Jun 27, 2009 1:53 PMWalking my mom through her computer problems might be the most frustrating thing I’ve ever done. I love her ’cause she made me, but DAMN… about 5 hours ago from web
===================================
From: <EJ@erinjackson.net>
To: “Linda Jackson” <xxxxxxxx@verizon.net>
Sent: Saturday, June 27, 2009 4:02 PM
Subject: Re: Don ‘t Be Talkin;”Bout me on da webHow did you find that? Hahaha… I said I loved you
===================================
From: Linda Jackson
To: Me
Subject: Re: Don ‘t Be Talkin”Bout me on da web
Sent: Jun 27, 2009 4:03 PMDO YOU THINK THAT JUS’ ‘KOZ I PLAY DUM…I REALLY AM?
ha ha ha!
I thought it was hilarious that she called me out. I didn’t even know my mom knew what Twitter was. I guess that’s it for online venting about family. I never imagined my mom logging onto a social networking site, but I guess the days of innocence are over.
Exhale.
She never ceases to amaze me.
Marie Claire Magazine feels my pain
Jun 25th
In keeping with my recent focus on my terrible dating history (I’m in the process of writing a new chunk of material on it) my friend Dana messaged me on Twitter about an online contest Marie Claire Magazine was holding. They’re looking for readers to submit their worst date stories, and then they’re going to select the best [worst] ones and feature them on their website.
She thought it was perfect for me. And I think maybe she was right. I’ve written about my worst date ever on this blog already, back in 2007. If you haven’t read my “The Worst Date Ever. Ever.” posts or if you need a refresher, you can read Pt. I here. And if you haven’t had enough, here is the conclusion. I submitted it to their site yesterday afternoon, and last nite they posted this on their Twitter page:
YAY! They liked it!!! Glad they could see the humor in my pain. Hopefully, I’ll be one of the top entries and my story will be published on their site… Although that would mean I had one of the worst dates ever in the COUNTRY. Is that an honor?
Maybe not, but it’s par for my life. Exhale…
WaPo reads this blog… Way cool! ;)
Jun 24th
So the WaPo Express Blog Log, picked up yesterday’s blog about my (ahem) ‘blunt’ psychic reading. That’s my quote up in the top left corner (that’s me in the spotlight… losing my religion. Literally. My Dad would freak if he knew I visited a psychic. Good thing he doesn’t read my blog)… Did you read it? If not, all you gotta do is scroll down a little bit. Haha… It’s kinda funny if I do say so myself. Thanks to Leon for letting me know about it. Since I don’t commute to anywhere besides my living room I don’t ever really see the Express.
My psychic keeps it real
Jun 23rd
I’ve been to maybe a handful of psychics in my life. And it’s always been a sham. Someone with a folding table telling you what — through conversation — they’ve gleaned you came to hear… But I had a reading at Eastern Market a few weeks ago that was totally different than any of the others.
When she said something that didn’t mean anything to me or was incorrect, she didn’t try to slicktalk me to convince me she was right. She just said, “Hmmm, that’s interesting.” And she totally didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear. Actually I was kinda sad when I left her, but somehow that made me feel like she was a little more genuine. She wasn’t trying to make me happy, she was just telling me what she saw. And she was very confident — even giving me a pad of paper to write down the things she predicted would happen and on what dates so that I could refer to it when the dates arrived. Despite the fact that she offered almost no hopeful news for my personal life, I can’t lie. I like a cocky psychic…
“You’re life’s gonna suck. And I’m so certain I’m right that I want you to take notes on this ish.”
That’s gangsta.
So if you’re in the DC area and you’re not morally or philosophically opposed to psychics, visit her. She may not have good news but she’ll tell you [what she believes to be] the truth. No punches pulled. Which is more than you can probably say for a lot of people in your life.
Very Funny Weekend — a photo essay
Jun 21st
Just letting you know up front — this one’s an epic ;)
I just got home from Chicago and the inaugural TBS/Just For Laughs Chicago Comedy Festival. I wasn’t in town long enough to catch most of the shows I wanted to see, but from what I hear the shows were great. I went there and came home in less than 24 hours. Here’s a recap of what went down… :)
Patron and Grey Goose bottles just chilling on the dresser — the hotel they put us up in was way nicer than anywhere I should ever be staying. I did my best to ignore all the fancy liquor and yummy treats, but I did take full advantage of the fluffy robe! ;) Check out the thumbnail on the far right… TBS gave us a swag bag that contained — among other things — a bottle of Remy and a flask shaped like a cell phone. It even came with a cell phone carrying case. Perfect for sneaking alcohol into sporting events and concerts carrying small bits of water to the gym. BOY do they know comics!!!
Me with Wendy Liebman
The show taped at Zanies Comedy Club in Old Town Chicago. During our downtime, I got to spend some time with the hilarious Wendy Liebman. I’ve been a huge fan for years, and it was a pleasure to be working on the same show with her. When I first got into comedy I sent her an e-mail thru her website just introducing myself and telling her what a big fan I was and how excited I was about stand-up, and she wrote me the nicest e-mail back and was so encouraging. I’m relatively sure I printed it out and have it somewhere… I should try and dig it up!
This was the show set
As far as the actual show and taping, Murphy’s Law was in full effect — as it often is on big days in my life… More >
In about a minute: An Eagles Fan in Redskins Country
Jun 17th
So a couple months ago I started to shoot a video blog at FedEx Field about what it’s like to be a Philadelphia Eagles fan living here in DC. I was interrupted by a FedEx field employee on a golf cart who *politely* informed me that I wasn’t allowed to do that. I wonder if that fact that I was rocking an Eagles t-shirt and dog tags had anything to do with it…
I never really finished shooting the blog after the “relocation” but figured I’d go ahead and post it anyway. It started out fun at least ;) Here goes:
My nephew is a genius
Jun 17th
No really he is.
He’s a few days short of 15 months and he knows his alphabet AND numbers. And not just the song. He can recognize them all on sight, out of order. Don’t believe me? Check out the video for yourself. His mom has finally learned to turn him around in the tub when she tapes so he won’t hate her [as much] when he gets older… And while you can’t see his beautiful little face (click here for more Roman) , his AWESOME is on full display!!!
See, I TOLD you he was amazing… How can you not love this kid? I’m trying to get his parents to gift me his college fund. He’s so smart he’s not gonna need it… And I’ve got “parentheses” around my checking account balance. ;)
Stop biting monkeys and stuff
Jun 16th
The other day my girlfriend Nikki was telling me how she had recently confused the expressions “monkey on your back” and “hair of the dog that bit you” into like “bite the monkey that bit you on your back” … or something equally as hilarious ;)
Which got me to thinking about the song “Monkey” by George Michael:
I LOVED George and Wham as a kid. And my 10 year old brain thought this was a song about a man whose girlfriend had a pet monkey that he was jealous of. I remember thinking if she loves him why would she choose to play with her monkey and make her boyfriend sad?
I wish I were kidding.
My cousin Morris who used to live with us explained the song to me… and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the 4th grade EJ learned all about the perils of substance abuse.
Hahaha… Of course I now realize that George Michael having a girlfriend was equally as funny as a woman who preferred a monkey to a man.
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