So I’m listening to reruns of the Steve Harvey Morning Show’s Strawberry Letter 23 — which if you’re not familiar is their relationship/advice segment. Well, a guy wrote in and said that he just found out a girl he is falling for has extremely bad breath… He described it as:
a poo-poo, hot garbage, vinegar and chitterling cocktail.
That is the best thing I have ever heard. I’m still laughing so hard I can barely type. That sounds intestinal.
Poor thing. Either take her to the doctor, or get out of Dodge, but that cannot be allowed to continue.
So BFF DWJ took it upon herself to make me the best four-days-after-Christmas gift EVER! She’s recently taken up sewing and has created some awesome pieces. A really cool purse I wanna steal and a super duper cute skirt… but this is by far my fave. She read this post about stuff I almost bought off late night infomercials and decided to combine it with my one true love and create me a homemade Snuggie out of Philadelphia Eagles fleece.
Thank goodness she didn’t try and sew me an Eagles body shaper!
I may not be able to claim ownership of my Snuggie until tomorrow evening, but please believe it will be my new favorite thing. Please notice that the logos are upside down. I think this adds 100% more charm to it. I heart her and my new fave blanket. Here is her preview:
Stay tuned for photos of me in the Snuggie… Right on time for Wild Card weekend!!!
Yeah… so I was just on MySpace and saw another bulletin asking me to sign a petition for T.I. to receive a presidential pardon. I guess these folks figure if John Forte could get one, so could Tip.
I can’t believe what happened today really happened. Did Oakland really beat Tampa Bay? And then Chicago lost? And then did we totally and completely obliterate the Cowboys? As I was watching I was literally thinking, “I must be dreaming.”
But it was almost a disaster.
I was working in VA Beach this weekend so I watched the Giants game at the comics condo. All throughout the game the announcers kept talking about the implications of Oakland/TB and Houston/CHI, and previewing the Eagles/Cowboys game… But come 4:15, for some reason they’re showing Redskins/San Francisco. As if:
the last NFC playoff spot isn’t being decided at that very moment
this game has any playoff implications
anyone interested in NFC football would rather watch this game than Philly/Dallas
Come on, FOX! Regional coverage? On a day like today? Get it together! My show began at 7 and when the second game started I was nowhere near ready to roll out for the evening. But when I saw Clinton Portis on my screen instead of Brian Westbrook, I hopped myself in the shower packed my stuff, took out the garbage and used my nifty new GPS to find the sports bar the club manager suggested. No way was I gonna miss this game. I rolled into the place and it was full of Eagles fans all decked out. It was heaven. At that point we were up 10-3 and it only got better ;)
What occurred next looked like what you might imagine would happen if an NFL team played a Pop Warner squad. At 44-3 I had to leave for my show. I felt pretty sure we wouldn’t blow that lead ;) But just in case anything crazy happened, there was a nice table of Philly fans who took my cell number and promised to text me if/when anything significant happened. Nothing did and they just texted me when the game was over.
Now we’ve got a clean slate. Playoffs here we come!!! Bring on those Vikings. I am so gassed!
Blankets are such a pain in the arse! Why didn’t I think of this sooner?
But all jokes aside, I think I might actually want this. Maybe not because it’s functional. But because it’s hilarious. And kind of creepy at the same time. Snuggie, the blanket with sleeves, is quietly moving up on the EJ after-Christmas must-have list!
Kymaro Body Shaper
OK, so I own several pair of Spanx. And they’re great. But then the other nite after one of my shows in Indy I saw this infomercial for the Kymaro Body Shaper and my good ole friends Jack and Ginger were talking to me like,“Go ahead, EJ! You should totally buy that. No need to do a sit up or go for a jog, This will solve all your problems…”I know myself well enough not to drunk dial infomercial hotlines but I did save the number in my phone. I didn’t see it or even remember doing this until this afternoon. Then I didn’t remember what it was so I Googled Kymaro. And I got a bunch of horrible reviews of this product. Some very kind woman actually did a play-by-play on how the infomercial is a piece of crap. I love it. So glad I didn’t buy this. And just in case there was anyone out there who’s considered buying it — check out the chart below AND the online reviews. Her comments on the chart are soooo funny.
You’re welcome.
I did just buy the 30-Day Shred, so we’ll see how that works. Who knows, before long I may not have a need for Kymaro or Spanx… I won’t however be making any New Year’s weight loss resolutions. I’m just gonna make sure all my tags are tucked in ;)
Tee hee ;) Come to a show for explanation on that last sentence :)
You know what I mean? Christmas songs that were created for the sole purpose of pushing the artist’s latest Christmas CD. I don’t know, I guess I’m a Christmas carol purist. Oh Holy Night. The First Noel. O Come All Ye Faithful… That’s more my speed. I don’t wanna hear what “you and your baby” did by the fire on Christmas Eve. Sorry.
I get that there are only a limited number of Christmas classics and that hearing every artist do the same songs could get tired quick. But think about it… Have you ever bought a Christmas CD where the artist sang original songs that you enjoyed?…
Well, have you?
I’m just saying, you at least gotta mix it up. Mariah Carey’s “Merry Christmas” is — if I’m not mistaken — the best-selling Christmas album of all time.
My dad has bumped that CD every year from Thanksgiving Day thru New Years since 1994. Promise. (BTW, if you’ve seen the act lately, that bit I do about Mariah Carey and my dad’s funeral is COMPLETELY true ;) I can’t recall if there are any original Christmas songs on this album — but I do know that if there are, she had enough sense to bury them deep between “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” and “Joy to the World.” And I’m not saying that all Christmas songs need to come straight out of a church hymnal. There are plenty of secular songs that I think we can all agree are a part of The Christmas tradition. And yes I’m aware of how “secular songs” being part of the Christmas tradition sounds… Probably wasn’t the best choice of words, but you know what I mean. “The Christmas Song” is not a religious song but it’s probably the most famous one. And even the most devout, anti-Christmas-commercialism Christians tap their feet when they hear Donny Hathaway’s “This Christmas.”
That song can make you feel good in the middle of July.
I’m just saying I heard an awful ”Christmas” song on the radio a few minutes ago. And I don’t know who sings it, but when I find out, I’ll be sending him a very opinionated note!
In redesigning the site over the weekend, I discovered that my e-mail list sign-up link was broken. Lord knows how long it’s been down, but I was wondering why not even one person had joined the list over the past few months — what with all the traveling and promo I’ve been doing. While it stinks for myriad reasons, knowing that the link wasn’t working actually made me feel better! I’ve had a few people sign up just overnite. But I cringe at all the folks who may have tried to join during the technical difficulties.
If you’re new to the site or the blog and were interested in joining the mailing list, but were unable to, I invite you to visit the site and try again. It’s working now and I only send one email per month. I promise. I’m way too lazy to spam you ;) OK, I think those are all the housekeeping items for today.
Your two cents