OH but there is…
Before you get started here, please scroll down to the entry from 3/24/06 — my birthday from last year. The curse continues. Happy Birthday to me…
Now, rather than stress myself for the next few months in anticipation of what will inevitably be THE most embarrassing moment of my entire life, I figured I better just go ahead and put this out there for everyone who knows me and anyone who cares. Start toughening up my skin now…
So let me start from the beginning. It’s the day before my birthday and I’m on my way to NYC for the LCS auditions. I had a few dollars in my pocket, but I needed to stop by a cash machine to take out some more money — for tolls and parking in the city… So I stop at this bank down the street from where I used to live in Jersey. I go to the drive thru ATM and the damn thing eats my card and shreds it. WHY? I do not know, but the people inside of the bank were not helpful at all. “Well do you have another ATM card you can use?” YES! Yes I do, but I’m not putting it in your damn machine. Boo, I hate you. I was pissed and I cussed out loud in the car for a couple of minutes, but then I kept it moving.
I get into the city at about 1:00 and head over to the club where the auditions are. I take the photo, fill out the paperwork and now I’m just waiting for my turn to go in. I’m chilling in the lobby, going over my set, talking to the other comics. Finally my chance comes. The audition itself wasn’t that bad. I was nervous and I realize I didn’t pick the best material but still there was one judge pulling for me, one was kinda on the fence and the other one looked at me like I had five heads… But basically, they said that they didn’t think I was ready and that they’d like to see me again next year… Cool. No one was mean to me. There was no Simon Cowell rude ass judge moment. Nothing that happened should have made me react the way that I did…
So I walk out of the showroom, go to grab my coat and my bag and one of the producers is like, “Erin can we interview you?” Now I just saw a couple people who advanced to the next round being interviewed and I’m thinking okay… but why do you want to interview me?
Here come the questions — and the tears… How do I feel about not advancing? (Great…) What would it have meant to me to make it? (It’d have been aiight…) Do I feel like I wasted my time by driving up? (Well, I didn’t until just now…) How did I feel when I saw people make it and then I didn’t? (Like a real winner?…) Why am I crying? (Dammit, I wish I knew). They didn’t say I sucked. And I was almost outta there, headed toward the door — no nationwide embarrassment in my future, and then I lost it. I’m pretty sure I’m the only person that’s ever cried in the history of Last Comic Standing, and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be on the damn show trailer crying my eyes out. Why didn’t I just walk away? I don’t know. I thought I had it under control. I kept hearing Tom Hanks’ voice in the back of my head, “There is no crying in comedy. There’s no crying in comedy.” I don’t even know what I said, but as one friend pointed out, whatever ridiculous crap I said will probably be muffled by the sound of my crying. At first I was crying for God knows what reason. Then I was crying because I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I’ve never thought I was a very emotional person, but apparently I’m a little bitch, cause I cried like a 4-year old girl. I just pray they show me a little bit of mercy. I don’t wanna quit comedy so I guess I’ll have to get over it if they don’t.
Nothing I can do about it now, I called my mom to tell her what happened but I should have know not to expect any sympathy there cause Moms is the stone cold truth. “You did it to yourself, Erin. You shouldn’t have cried. Oh well… Things could be worse.” And I’m like Ma? How could it be worse? Then she tells me that one of my oldest friends passed away that morning. Wow. That really put things into perspective. What a day.
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